We've all felt it before. Your blood begins to boil; your fists clench; and your brow furrows. Anger is a powerful and natural reaction that can range from being irritated to feeling enraged.
Anger is often associated with men. A study conducted by researchers at Southwest Missouri State University (SMSU) suggest that, while anger is part of both male and female experiences, men will express their anger "outwardly and directly."
Although the act of men expressing their anger is typically accepted as normal, the truth is that venting one's anger in an unhealthy manner can be a burden on your relationships—both personally and professionally. To help you better cope with anger, we've compiled a list of the top three triggers that commonly anger men as well as healthy and constructive methods for you to manage them.
1. Being publicly disrespected is a surefire way to get your adrenaline pumping. No one likes to be ridiculed or embarrassed in front of one's coworkers, friends, or loved ones. Still, many people feel the need to belittle others publicly to demonstrate dominance or power.
The anger fix: If someone is disrespecting you in front of others, pause and count to ten. Chances are that if you react, you'll end up looking like the jerk. Instead, when you've cooled down, address him face to face. Firmly tell the person that this is the kind of behavior that makes you angry, and it is not okay for them to disrespect you in that way.
2. Being cut off, or any other form of road discourtesy, elicits road rage in many men. Road rage is typically characterized by aggressive driving, excessive honking, swerving, or retaliating in some hostile manner. Statistically, young men are the most prone to road rage.
In a 2002 Rage-Depression Survey, men reported feeling a sense of rage more frequently than women. 56 percent of the men surveyed said they experienced rage on a daily basis versus 44 percent of the women. More men also admitted to retaliating against others when they felt angry or provoked.
The anger fix: Remember that, while on the road, safety is your chief concern. Do not let a stranger dictate your mood or your response. Instead, take a deep breath and reassess your situation. If need be, pull over and count to 30. By the time you finish, the moment and the driver will be long gone.
3. Financial troubles are the root cause of many aggressive behaviors. Money is so much more than just currency. It's tied to relationships, power, security, and personal freedom. Many men still have a deep rooted belief that they must provide for their family. If not, they've somehow failed to fulfill their primary role as caretaker. This feeling of letting down one's family can result in stress, frustration, and anger when it otherwise wouldn't exist.
The anger fix: Money problems always seem permanent, but rarely are. Take a step back and reassess your situation. More times than not, you'll find that getting angry about your situation will only set you back when trying to achieve your goals. Instead, consider what's truly important to you. Look to friends and family for guidance. Move forward in a way that is healthy and productive for you and your loved ones.
Why Can't I Just Bottle It Up?
Health experts will tell you that holding in your emotions can have an adverse effect on your physical health. Our emotions have a profound effect on us because they are physically linked to our bodies through our immune, endocrine, and central nervous systems. Often the seeds for an individual's physical problems were planted by his earlier emotional traumas.
The following are some of the common physical illnesses that have been linked to the inability to cope with one's anger:
- Headaches
- Stomachaches/ulcers
- Lower back pain
- Fatigue
- Depression
- Insomnia
- High blood pressure
- Anxiety
- Erectile dysfunction
- General aches and pains
- Fibromyalgia
- Asthma
- Various cancers
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